The Slam Club

The Slam Club is informal, existing any time two or more Slammers convene and compulsively denounce other people, places or things. Malcontents pervade our society, routinely sabotaging the good feelings normal people exchange. I call these killers of good feelings Slammers and their social groups the Slam Club. Incredibly, Slammers believe that opinions, when collective, are facts. They garner these collective opinions by socializing with other Slammers. Voila, Slam Club.

Phrased other ways, the Slam Club is complaining unto no purpose; it is hostility expressed without an intent to solve problems; it is criticism intended to preempt competitors from competing; it is the cowardice of words preferred to the courage of action; it is the egoism of opinion supplanting the neutrality of evidence; it is the usurping of research with the presumption of slander; it is meanness made routine; it is the magic thinking that words are deeds. Slammers earnestly believe that by slamming third parties to you, they are helping you. In fact they are precluding you from choosing for yourself of whom or what you will approve. And as such, Slammers compulsively try to control the uncontrollable: other people.

Slammers slam other people behind their backs. Slammers slam each other behind each other\\\'s backs. The Slam Club is predicated on the target not being present to defend him or herself. This crucial difference distinguishes Slammers from Normal People with worthy grievances against another person. A Normal Person confronts a wrongdoer or a mistakemaker directly, and gives them a chance to explain their actions and to apologize. Slammers want neither an explanation nor an apology, preferring to perpetuate the myth that the slammed is intrinsically unworthy. The terror of the direct confrontation is that the Slammer might be mistaken. And being emotionally incapable of apologizing, the Slammer chooses the illusion of being right over the reality that he or she might very well be wrong.

Thus the Slam Club tears to bits anyone not present, using faulty information as claws, incomplete information as teeth, and unproven information as muscle. You can not stop the hunt, you can not remove yourself from prey status, but know this: the Slam Club works like voodoo, you have to believe in it for it to affect you. Slammers can only hurt you with their denouncements if you believe those denouncements to be credible. If, and only if, you are a Slammer yourself do you take the Slam Club seriously.

The next time a Slammer entertains you with some vicious story about someone else, know that you are their next vicious story. The Slam Club spares no one their criticisms. Friend and foe alike are sliced and diced like so many human onions. This need not make you cry and here is why: it is not personal. I know this is hard to believe; after all, these people are your friends, are they not? No, oddly enough, they are not your friends. Slammers perceive all other persons as competitors. And that includes you. It is not personal. My experience is that Slammers do not say what they mean or mean what they say. Plainly, it is easier to complain about life than it is to upgrade your own. It is easier to watch soap operas than to write the great American novel. It is easier to watch the playoffs than organize your life.

There is a difference between a Slammer and an Abuser. An individual can be both, abusing those they can control and slamming those they cannot. But Slammers are not necessarily Abusers. Slammers and Abusers operate differently, and it will help you to recognize the distinctions.

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About the Author:
Board certified clinical hypnotist Michelle Beaudry takes clients in person and by telephone from her office near Orlando, Florida. 407 862-9144, hypnofemme@aol.com. Beaudry Hypnosis